"Mommy my tummy hurts!"," MOMMY MY TUMMY HURTS!", "MOM WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! I'm trying to tell you something and your not understanding me! No, I do not want a drink and No my bum doesn't need to be changed! I'm trying to tell you that my tummy hurts!"
Do you ever think about what your son or daughter with no speech is thinking?? Well, I constantly do and it always makes me feel sad when I think that something might be seriously wrong with my son on the inside that I can't see and he has no way of telling me. Granted over the years Juwann has learnt how to tell me when he has a sore throat by opening his mouth really big, or if something hurts he makes a pout face and I have to guess where it is. But I always worry about what if something like his kidneys or chest is sore and I have no idea.
I couldn't imagine living inside your own head, which is something I think Juwann does 98% of the time. No one knows exactly how much intelligence is in his big brain for sure but hopefully in due time we will all hear Juwann's voice with his new laptop that has a communicative device that will be able to speak for him.
Then, and maybe only then will I stop worrying about what he is thinking about or if something is wrong. Because it kills me to think that when he is in bed at night and screaming it is just because he is a teenager and not because something hurts.
One of my favorite qualities about you is your ability to read people. Your best at reading Juwann. Don't under estimate your super mommy senses. You second guess yourself because your a good Mom and I highly doubt anything will slip bye you.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what it's like to be you or Juwann. What I do know for sure is that you are a fantastic mother and I brag about you all the time. I know many mothers with able bodied (and tongued!) children who don't seem to know their seedlings nearly as much as you do your son. One of the most beautiful things I've ever been privileged to see is that amazing smile on Juwann's face when he sees his Mom! If that is not pure love and recognition, I don't know what is. Something tells me that a communicative laptop could never begin to describe the connection between you and Juwann. Simply put: It's indescribable. At the end of the day, only you could ever take away his pain... and you do. Daily. You truly are a phenomenal mother and woman.
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